Colour chalks

(Inspired from a video which caught my mind for several weeks)

            I am working here for the last 7 Years. I used to see kids grow up and leave this place. The kindness of some good hearts and the show off of some hypocrite rich people are the source of income for this orphanage. By the way, I too was an orphan but now I have a family. Sherya Kiran who came to my life from this orphanage itself. As we don’t have a second name or surname, we kept each other’s name as the second name and thus I am called Kiran Shreya. Sometimes people asks me, Why did your parents kept your mother’s name as your second name? I reply them with utmost pride that is not my mother’s name, it’s my wife’s.
              Actually speaking this story is not about me, it is about a 4 year old kid who taught me a lesson. Who made me think and who made me realize who I am. We call him Pappu. A cute blithesome kid with every sort of naughtiness to make this orphanage a very noisy place. He was thrown away by his parents at the age of 2  impassively and that makes him more disappointed one than the other kids live here but he is the smartest kid of all.
     A week ago he was asking me some colour chalks and I was not curious as I was already aware of his artistic skills. I bought a box of colour chalks when I went home to have my lunch. As I came back to the orphanage I found him awaiting his chalks while talking to the watchman. He chuckled and his cheek filled with blood to make it pink as his eyes caught the box in my hand.
     I gave him the box and he started to run in frisson towards the large veranda haste fully. I shouted “careful”.
I saw him loosening his sandals to draw some thing on the veranda as I got in to my office. After some time, through the window I saw kids waiting for him to complete whatever he was drawing. As he completed it I saw him lying on what he drew which made me curious. I got out of my office and reached the veranda .I was imbued by that little souls creation on which he laid on. He saw me as he was laying on the large picture of a women.
            He told me “I am lying on my mom’s chest, it is so warm in here”
     My eyes filled with tears as I ran to the bathroom to cry again after a long time. I saw myself in him and I realized how much he was missing his parents like I did. I made a decision that evening, Shreya seconded it.

 9 years later
On the thirteenth birth day of our son, we are planning to gift him a bicycle as a surprise gift who taught me giving a life to someone is the most fruitful thing a man could ever do. Today I am proud father and more than that a proud human being.
Adopt a child, I believe it is what we call “being human”.

A girl in the train

While my sight was slipping through the faces of a bunch of gorgeous “Kottayam Achayati” girls who were waiting for the Sabhari express at the railways just like me, I found someone throwing her stare quite often at me with a red check shirt which seemed well fitted for her fair lean body and a light blue denim jean to make her perfectly beautiful.

   She was accompanied by her “Not so aged mother” who seemed very responsible and tensed while advising, laughing talking and making some kind of weird expression which I could not figure out. I understood that the girl with the red shirt is a student studying outside Kerala.

The scheduled train arrived at an unscheduled timing, to cut down the restlessness of the crowd waiting, blowing and spreading the dust on the air and of course to our nostrils. As I was getting in I checked the second door to realize that the girl is getting into the same bogie.

   I forgot to tell, I had a company with me till my destination who is my friend. And so,we started searching for a space that might occupy us which was not in vain as we found the space sooner in the third compartment itself. Fortunately, the red shirt girl had her reservation on the left corner of where we sat. The train started moving as she waved hands to her mom right after a flying kiss and she looked at me. It seemed she needed to ask me something.

    A couple of girls were roaming around for seats and some of them fixed themselves in the upper berth where she sits and the upper berth opposite to mine.

      She looked at me again which made me smile and it led her to smile back at me. My ear phones sang a song for me at that time “Hey, hey, hey, it’s a beautiful day; I can’t stop myself from smiling”.

She took a couple of books from the bag which seemed like textbooks and a couple of pens from a “girly pouch” that she carried. Is she going to study in the train? No, No way. She started drawing something on the notebook hastefully. The girls sat in the upper berth started researching on what she was doing and laughing at her studiousness in a sarcastic way secretly. 

She was not looking at me any more now as she was concentrating on her studies. Some thing was making me not to  keep my eyes off her.She is different.She looks different.Was that the reason?

 Even a beautiful diamond fitted in her pierced nose seemed overshadowed by the sparkling of her face in the balmy day light hit on her through window. It seemed she saw me looking at her. She smiled spreading her beautiful red lips evenly. A black mole on the lower lips increased its beauty even more.

“Hey, we have reached Ernakulam”. It was my friend who shouted at me as she happened to know I was not aware of that fact. The train hauled with a sudden jerk with a weird sound as I stood up to walk to the door to alight, she asked me wearing a smile on her beautiful face,

“Are you Sameera? Sravan’s elder sister?”

I said “Yea,How do you know?”

She answered pleasantly chuckling “I am his friend, we have met a couple of years before”

I heard the shriek whistle blowing  from the engine of the train to warn the passengers as she waved her hands .I smiled at her and alighted.

The lost 37 years

 [Inspired from a real life character who spent his 37 years in jail]

                 I killed her. I killed the person I loved most. I did not know she was cheating me all these years. I neither did hear the cop’s questions nor the court’s judgement. Hopes are dead like an old Radio lying in the attic. I can hear nothing. There is no meaning for life any more.
          While I was walking through the veranda, one of the inmate at jail showed me a person who was watering the gardens.
“He is in this place for the last 37 years. He came here at the age of 24.Now he is 61”
I nodded and asked “Why?”
“He raped and killed a women and her daughter”
I was shocked to hear that. He looked very calm and he always wears a smile on his face. But nobody talks to him. I don’t know how a person looking so innocent could be a monster.
He was the one who waved his hands to say hi to me while I was thinking over and over “how to kill myself”. I did not respond to him. He asked me,
“Why did you kill your wife?”
I replied “What the hell is your problem, you blithesome looking monster. Don’t you understand I really don’t want to talk to you?”
He was not disappointed, my reply seems to have made no effect on him. He smiled and repeated the phrase again and again followed by a laughter every time as he walked away.
   I saw him waving his hands at me at the canteen and I ignored him. Suddenly he disappeared in the next day. I asked one of the cops about him. I got to know that he proved his innocence after 37 years. The legal system of the country apologised and relieved him from this god forsaken place. At last he proved that he was not a monster.
I was really bad to him. I thought. I should have heard him and talked to him because all the way he is a better person than me. He came to this place at the age of 24 and he is 61 now. All his youthful years. The lost 37 years which could be full of love, happiness, fun. God sometimes is very cruel.
Days passed. I still did not figure out how to end this meaningless life. It was the jail supervisor who handed over a letter to me. I was surprised to see what was written on the “from column” of the letter as I flipped the envelope. It written “The blithesome looking Monster : ) “
                          ************  
The letter

Hi Sam,
Sometimes life is uncontrollable. I saw the disappointment in your eyes. That is what made me to write for you. I did not know whether you still call me the same you used to call.
I was in jail for the last 37 years trying to prove my innocence. Before 37 years, I was as disappointed as you are now. Life is sometimes unfair and unethical. But life can be good even at the unfair, unethical and bad times, if you are positive. Without bad time, challenges there cannot be happiness or I would say “You will never realize what happiness is.
I was a person who doesn’t know what bad times are, what sadness was. I didn’t have a bit of commitment to any one than to me. Not even to my parents. I was happily spending the money I inherited from my parents. I did not even have some good friends.
    Now I know how good times differs from bad times and how does happiness differ from sadness. It seems God wanted to convey this to me. The lost 37 years taught me the value of happiness, sadness, Love, Commitment, relationships and dreams.
It seems nothing can disappoint me now as I am stronger.
I am writing this from Agra. Sitting in front of the Taj Mahal reminded me of your love for your wife. I am in a ride from Kerala to Jammu Kashmir in the God’s own country, India. India is indeed incredibly beautiful. I am determined even in my 61 year of living that I will complete my mission if I don’t die riding my machine built by Enfield.
Sam, There is only one life. Smile, Laugh and confront the challenges boldly. Killing yourself will definitely help you to hide from your tomorrows. Don’t be a coward, don’t give up. There are more days to come. May be you could also fly on the wings of your dreams. Live life like today is the last day on earth. Let the life make you stronger to confront challenges ahead.
God bless you,
Martin.
                                                                 *******************
I smiled. I would have killed myself if I were him. His situation was worse than me. How could a person be so determined who has lost his 37 youthful years inside a jail watering gardens and sharing foods with the birds. Who could we blame? The legal system of the country or the GOD?
   Whoever was the reason for it, it doesn’t bother him anymore as he was accelerating his machine to the highest peak of the country at the age of 61 with quite a lot of determination to confront the challenges ahead and to reach his destination at last.

I write in black.

Unlike any other colour black has lots of stories. It can tell us story about almost all living and non-living organisms existing and existed. Black is history. Black is present. Black is future.
I write at night because Night is fresh, Night is silent. Night is peace. Night is beautiful because the night is black just like mother’s beautiful black hair. And thus I write in Black.
Black is gorgeous. Black is husky and Black is everything.
       
1. Jaguar XJ Black: Dreams do come true?
     

       I am always fascinated to see this black sexy lady passes by me in style every single day while I wait for my office cab in the NH47 Kochi. It makes me pine and crazy for her when she has her sexy black out fit on, especially when she is wet in rain. I envy those people driving her in style and pride especially if he has a black shirt on as it increase my jealousy to the maximum. Sometimes I even scream to my colleague that “I hate that man”. I don't know why I do that.
    I used to pray to God to give me at least the outfit of a rich man to test drive this black lady once. I wish what Sachin told when India won world cup, happens to me as well, "Dreams do come true".
          Don’t they?

2. HTC Desire 816 Black: A desire:

I bought a new cell phone a month back. HTC Desire 816 .While I was spending more time in gsmarena.com than SAP at office I found a beauty in the form of cell phone. As I always do prefer black, I clicked on the black one. But soon I realized white looks better than black. All my friends seconded me.
          I waited in front of the shop one whole evening to buy the mobile which was in vein. They did not have enough stock of white that evening and they asked me to come next day. Because there was no demo mobiles show cased I opted white without any second thought which I bought it very next day morning.
       Last Friday I was enjoying a cup of hot black tea at my office cafeteria mesmerising the rain pouring down slowly as the people walking out side holding their black umbrellas was a great scenery when you look at it from the ninth floor of a building. That was when my eyes caught another beautiful sight right next to me as the former. That was HTC Desire 816 Black.
    Believe me I would be the saddest person on earth till I replace my phone's chase with original black chase on August 1.

3. RayBan Black Wayferer: Hey blacky,You will never be 'Ban'ned always:

 "Man take it off. Don’t flaunt much”. Many of my friends have told this to me many times. Yes, I am a goggles fan too. Can I trust you? There is a secret. I even wear it at night while chatting with friends over Whatsapp when the lights are off. It helps me to reduce the effect of brightness of phone on my eyes. Believe me it works in a great way.
      While I was window shopping at Lulu mall Kochi, I found my black eyes stopped obeying my brain. They were frozen sighting some stunning beauty like a space shuttle lost its connection from its space station. No, it was not a girl in black saree. It was a Black RayBan Wayferer who caught my eyes tight. Even though my black eyes were almost out from the eye socket seeing the price tag, my brain said "my black eyes, this black beauty will be gifted to you very soon".

4. A pair of black shoes:A Hope

Those pair of black casual shoes with white lace were really stunning for me. It was not branded, it does not have a complicated design. It was a very simple one with low price. Unfortunately I found this one after spending the last bit of money from my black wallet. Still I asked my friend to transfer the money to buy it. He said he will transfer it by afternoon. I went home restlessly and waited. I wore my black lee cooper sandals right after I saw the new message that popped up in my phone saying "your account has been credited with......"
   Was I running? Yes I was a bit. I took my second breath when I reached in front of the shop. Excited to the core, I got inside taking a long breath as I found an emptiness in the space were those beautiful black shoes were show cased. I understood it was the last piece which got sold out as the shop keeper told me that the local factory closed their production because they were incurring loss.
    I used to visit that shop once in a while hoping to see a richness of black in the same emptied space.

5. Those gorgeous black eyes, I fell in love with:

        I was late to the class that day like every other day of my just started CA Intermediate classes. As I was screaming to the Corporate law faculty shooting points to the sleepy studious students, “May I come in sir”. It was not his voice I heard first.
 "Munbe ...vaa  yen anbe vaa"
    I don’t know who was playing my most favourite song composed by academy award winner AR Rahman, for me while my black sleepy eyes got locked with a pair of beautiful blithesome black eyes. I don't know why I felt a sudden urge for those.
          Today, While I soothe those gorgeous black eyes filled with bubbles of tears beneath those beautiful eye lashes, rich in micro rainbows reflecting from the balmy evening sun, I know that I am going to own these exasperated black eyes very soon.

This post is a part of <a href="http://whattheblack.blogadda.com" title="WhatTheBlack" target="_blank">#WhatTheBlack</a> activity at <a href="http://www.blogadda.com" title="BlogAdda.com" target="_blank">BlogAdda.com</a>

The mother who killed her daughter

At the court;
      Her face was pale but the smile on her lips proclaimed pride and happiness while inside the wooden building facing the laws of the land. The verdict awarded her with a capital punishment for one of the most sinful things a woman could ever do which enlightened her paled face to the maximum like an old building recently coated with a white paint. When she was asked by a reporter outside the court “what was the motive behind killing her child”; all she said was “I am glad that I could do it”. She heard someone saying “ rotten piece of filth”.

Me;
 I don’t have a name to introduce myself  to you but my mommy call me sweetie. This is my story, I don’t know whether it can be called as a story. But believe me my mommy used to tell me her stories. She used to tell me “sweetie, everyone has their own story”. Her stories are full of hatred  and pain. She said to me once that she don’t want me to replace her” as my Mommy was an illegitimate child; people call them Bastard. She told me that her mother (My grandmother, I haven’t seen her though) was a prostitute. I don’t even know what it means. But mommy told me its sin. That was how my mommy was born as a bastard. Her classmates used to call her “dog” not because it is an animal but because dogs are bastards and dogs are like prostitutes. I did not understand the last part.

    Most of the stories would have things I don’t understand. She told me once that when she was 14, she was raped brutally by a middle aged man who was introduced to her by her mother.She said it was the most painful thing a girl could have both physically and mentally. She was harassed by her mother for more than 6 years and then I was born in my mommy’s womb. She said she don’t want me to be called as a “Dog” like her. She don’t want me to be raped by some dogs as well. She want me to be safe and happy.She told me I will be very safe in this place and she will come back to me very soon.

       I miss her a lot now. Though I don’t remember her face, I remember her sound. I know she would be very beautiful like the angel who brought me here. My Mommy's voice is very sweet, I would say a perfect voice for a perfect story teller but she used to cry often while telling stories. I would better say “we both cry together, My Mommy cry telling the story, I; hearing her cries.
      Today is the day she promised that she would come back to me. I am so much excited to see her. From today I could ask questions when she tells me stories unlike before.
Even though my mommy says “Everybody has their own story”,  I am not sure whether it was my story or can it be called as a story. May be my story starts today, maybe I don’t have a story.

Ladies, we have some thing to tell you!!

‘All the men are like this’. An unpleasant sentence we men hate to hear from the women's mouth which turned out to be
a common,disagreeable and most repeated sentence for them. It sounds like we are inhuman, hypocrite,pervert and
sex maniac.
     When you say ‘All the men are like this’ please count the number of boys and men you know. Facebook or your cell
phone might help you on this. How many bad experience do you have? I believe 95% of the girls did not have any bad
experience from the people you have listed now. All you might know is the news you read in newspaper or you
happened to come accross through some other media.Oh yea,we would recommend the court (if we could) to cut down those penis for god sake.
       For those who say ‘he ogles at me big time’. Let me ask you one question. How many of you don’t stare any of them back
and how many of you do not enjoy any of them staring at you.I knew the answer already. Nothing more than a BIG ZERO.
      Sex is a very common thing in the society now a days. If a boy made love with a girl he loves and their parents happened to know about that?
    “Son of a ****, you ruined her life”. Even the girl who made love to him would say the same though it was her fifth person down the track. The boy who lost his virginity for his love suffers. The answer to his question would surely be
     ‘You are a boy’.
Because the society values girl’s virginity, not boys’. Why? Because we don’t have hymen? How about a guy who going to marry you says, "I am not virgin", will you marry him?
       When you heard about Murukan who raped a girl in the train and killed her, you said ‘All the men are like this’. Think about
the greatest personalities in India. Think about your father, Brother, best friend, boyfriend, husband and your son. Think
about the person who still pays the salary to the family of the same girl who was raped and killed.Curse Murukan, Not the
entire male community.
    When a friend who is a boy asks you to his life, you would say “how could he even think like that?” I believe he was opening
up himself to you. He was asking you whether you could be with him till the end because you are so special for him and he don’t want to miss you in his life ever, may be not even for asingle day. If you don’t like him tell him ‘I cannot be like that, I am sorry’. Instead what you would say is ‘All the boys are like this’. Hello, he was not asking you to bed. He was letting you know how much special you are for him.
     For those who think we don’t even hesitate to wear some one’s inner wear. Mam, you might have heard it in films and
for your kind information it happens only in films.
     Let me lent the thoughts someone shared through social media which i came across revently. Boys never ask his friend “Hey, your sister is so hot, introduce her to me".For us, sister to a friend is our sister too but I have heard girls saying ‘Sameera, your brother is so hot and handsome, introduce him to me yaar’.This sound really normal! Do you really think so?
     I know so many men who working abroad for years to make his family sound in all aspects who could visit their family only once in 3 or 5 years. They do every single thing to cut their cost to give one more pair of dress to his child back at home. They sacrifice their happiness so that their children studies without any sufferings and let their wife b happy.There are brothers who quit studies to make his younger siblings go school. My grandpa was of the same kind.There are fathers and brothers who work day and night to get his daughter or sister married.
      We are born a bit wild, a bit harsh and may be a bit rude. We accept it.But we always understand you as a father, as a brother, as a friend, as a husband or as a son. You don’t understand us every time though.I believe we proved it through participation in the protest against the Delhi rape case and I am extreamly proud to point out that we numbered twice than the entire female Protestants. I am pretty sure that it justifies my point.
     Have you ever realized when you curse the entire male community of the country, that you have a father who protects you and keeps you out of danger,you have a brother who fights with you often but takes you out for movies, shopping and cares about you so much, you have a best friend who surprises you on your birthday with your favourite gifts, you have a boyfriend who cross the road with you in such a way that if a vehicle hits accidently, it hits him not you, you have a
husband who takes your screaming child outside the cinema hall and let you watch the entire film? You enjoy every moment we give you and you curse the entire male community in the very next tick of the clock as a news flashes in the TV. You would say again “Why all these men are like this?”
     A son, a bother ,a friend, a boyfriend, a husband, a father ,a grandfather, if you think they have influenced you at some
point in your life then next time when your brain commands you to shoot the dialogue ‘All the men are like this’. Stop and try to empathize it once. Don’t we deserve a bit of respect? If you think ‘yes’ then please stop screaming out this unpleasing rotten dialogue on our face and try to be be specific.

A father's address on his daughter's wedding

Hello,
I am standing in front of you with great happiness and pride.Happy because it is the day I dreamt about a million times. This is the day I was planning to make this glorious day for the last 25 years. I planned to decorate and arrange every single and little thing that would make my darling baby so happy. Not that I wanted to let her know how much I love her, not at all. It is to see her so happy in this most memorable day .                It was a Friday night around 11.30, a freezing night your mom gifted me the most beautiful gift she ever did. She asked me to
go with her to the delivery room. I could feel her pain when I look into her eyes. Your mommy was squeezing my fingers
because of pain. My fingers were aching, she noticed it ,so I believe it might be of so much of pain. It was me who saw your little cute face before your mom did. You were so small, so delicate so cute, I would say the cutest little thing I have ever seen in my life. I bet ,cutest than your mommy's beautiful face. When the nurse gave you to me, I was I afraid to hold you. I was not sure whether it hurts you because you were so delicate and beautiful. I laid you near to you mom for the first time, I could see her eyes. I placed a kiss on her forehead with great love. Darling ,that is your mommy's favourite kiss till now.
   I was sitting next you touching your little fingers and I felt my blood and a magical spark. Your mom were so happy. I don't know even in that pain how one can be so happy and I envy you my beautiful
wife for that.
          I remember the day you were into your school for the first time. You were crying. It was the first time I missed you so
much. Do you remember I scolded you for the first time for fighting with your mom??
I do. You had not talked to me for one week. It was the greatest punishment I ever got in my life. Everybody used to tell me that you are so happy when I am around. You always say I am your best friend. Your mommy is still jealous for that. I am so proud that I am your best friend.
         It was on your convocation I found a divine expression on your face  while you talking to someone. I could figure out that you were more happy than when I am around. That was the day I was getting familiar to the handsome guy who sweep my daughter out of her feet. I was so jealous. I realized its time, You have grown.
I am so proud that you found someone who love you more than himself and you turned out to be his life, Who sacrificed a great opportunity to build up his career for being with you. I know there would be nobody in this world to be this perfect match for you. I know that how much happy is my baby right now, holding his hands tight, looking at me with lots of love and respect and throwing pebbles from her eyes. I am sure
that my son in law make you laugh and you will be very happy throughout your life.
       Whenever you ask me who is my best friend, I say its your mom. Let me be honest,It is not your mom. It is you ,from the moment I saw your little face till I close my eyes for ever. You are the best daughter ever. We love you so much. We will miss you a lot. You will have a blessed and happy life darling.
Thank you very much!!
HAPPY FATHER'S DAY TO ALL READERS!

Replacements

  Life is an unpredictable journey towards some thing we don't know.Some says its just death,some others is of the opinion that its the eternal life.I don't know what is it.All i know is life is to be lived because we don't know when would our mother earth just replace us with a new born baby.Replacements seems unfair at times but that's how it is.Its not that we remain always in some body's heart or some body's life as their best friend .They might replace you.It does not mean you are not good enough.You should be thankful to them for making you to realize that your love for them was not fake and you are a better person than him/her.Those who replaced you with some one else will realize your value at some point of time in their life.If you have some one who never told you "I will be there till the end" but their actions speaks out the same .You should be thankful to them for teaching you the meaning of the word "Priceless".You should be thankful to them for teaching you what "true love" is.Don't leave them because you are denying a blessing given by god.Teach them back the meaning of the words they already taught you for they are the ones who deserve to learn it from you.Love them for they are the one with true heart.Most importantly let your actions speak out how much you love them every single day.Because you don't know when would the mother earth replaces you with cry of new born baby.

The God of all things

     

Her heart is softer than a new born's pink cheeks,her movements are careful than a bomb defusing squad's,her love is beautiful than any love story ever written,her patience is popular than the patience of the ocean,her lap is much more comfortable than a cozy mattress and thus Istrongly believe it is the reason behind we Indians says the nature is her,our country is her,the flowing river is her and that's why the world calls the earth as "The Mother Earth"......Mother, the creator of the entire population existed and still existing.Love her, care her,make her happy and protect her,for she is the god who created you,for she is the God who fed you when she was hungry,for she is the God who made you laugh when she was not happy,for she is the God who have no magical powers but always prays to the God to bestow his magical powers on you.I am sorry My God,my Mother is far better God than what you are.I love you mom,you are the best . Happy Mother's day to all. 

She

It was a Saturday evening 4 o clock. I saw her face running red and filling with excitement. I knew she was a bit frightened too as she sat on the window side of the boat holding my hands tight for a couple of seconds. She pulled her hands back praising her braveness. I was looking more into her face than into the backwaters and it helped me to find she was looking into the waves made by the boat like a child, than into my eyes.She seemed clearly thrilled.
     She is a girl who doesn't show off. May be because she thinks she is not beautiful enough but I always tell her she is beautiful.Well, she don’t believe me though.I could see the cozy rays of the setting sun on her cheeks while on the moving boat. I tried to frighten her up saying about the recent boat accident but I don’t think she is afraid of it anymore. It seemed she already noticed the Life jackets placed over our heads.
     We reached the beach in 20 minutes. It is a long way walk through the pavements which leads to the beach. We walked quietly talking, listening and cracking jokes. She pointed me something which happened to be a model of a weapon used before our independence. She chuckled when I said I am bad in history back from school. I wanted to show her a place where civilians were not allowed to enter into. Once a couple of my friends tried to get in there for a visit and some Army Men showed up with guns. I was searching for that place .I found the place and I pointed out to her.I told her the story of my stupid friends. After a couple of seconds I realized that was not the original place i wanted to show. So I corrected as soon as I found the original place where it happened.
 Trying to tease me, she asked “Were you bad at geography as well back from school?
       “I tried to wear a serious expression .My endeavor was in vain though.
        I was the first one among us to step into the waves of the evening sea. It was really
nice to have the soothing of the evening sun all over our body
and naughty waves carrying varieties of beautiful sea shells massaging our feet smoothly and taking away the sand beneath our feet. But I realized the last part was missing. It was her who told   “I am going to keep my sandals in my bag. Give me yours as well. “I was a bit surprised to hear that, especially when a girl asking to keep my sandal in her “BAG”.
     The waves were awesomely beautiful just like her. I saw happiness on her face as if a child watching the sea for the first time. I even felt like the shiny golden rays of the evening sun were shining on her more than
on the waves. She was clearly excited and playful which were clearly portrayed on her face.
She was really sad when I asked her “We are late, We better go”.She thanked me for the day ,I didn't know that was much to be thanked. I told her “You can take it back to your pocket as I enjoyed the day too”.
        People say “A boy and a girl cannot be friends always.” I would say that is truly mindless and equally pointless. It is not right that a girl and a boy can only be lovers. I believe from the bottom of my heart that they can be real friends too. A friend who hugs you when you are down, one who cares about you like your lover, one who wept at times for you, who misses you when you are not around and who even don’t hesitate to act like your parent over phone to your principal at school or college.
    She is my friend, a very special person I would say with greatest happiness and joy. Because she is one who won’t pretend to be someone else, one who won’t hesitate to wear a smile while she walks and talks. One for whom I am a special person. I read somewhere a couple of days before that ”Close friends are actually the siblings God forgot to give you. “ I am pretty sure that who ever said that has someone so special like the one I already have.

Story of a Gay

                                         

  

                           I am in love with him truly , madly, deeply. If you call me a gay, well I would answer you with utmost pride “hey, what’s up?”

     When I was a 14 year old boy I used to see him pass me in style. At times
he stares at me as if “Why the hell are you looking at me kiddo. May be I could not then but I promised to myself that I will make him mine and live with him till I die. For that let me become a Man.
      I remember seeing him for the first time. I was riding my dad’s Bajaj Chetak and I was so damn excited to see him passing me very slowly from the opposite direction talking to someone as he was very handsome and tempting. His sound made me pine for him. It is very mesmerizing and adorable to see him riding with someone in his back as he lean towards the earth while he take a 140 degree deviation on his way somewhere. Did his eyes catch mine for a second?

      Once I got a precious chance to touch his dark husky body. Man, it was an awesome feeling. It tempted me for something which was not legal at that point of time. It reminded me that Law of the land is against gays. But still, I just wanted to take him home and ride with him through the endless road to nowhere holding his hand. I wanted to tell him, how much I adored him, how much I learned about him .I wanted to share the plans and dreams I have after our marriage. I don’t know whether it can be called as a marriage as there should be a bride and a groom which is missing in my story.

Today I turned 23 and I was very busy for the last two weeks preparing to meet him. I always have thought about him even in this rush. Today I am on my way to finally to meet him on my 23^rd birth day. It was bliss; it reminded me “a word” or may be “a feeling” which the English used to have called “Déjà Vu”. I reached the place where we planned to meet. He was there already waiting for me. His eyes caught me with a smile on his beautiful face and it made Goosebumps all over my body. This time he did not take his eyes back from me. I thanked his parents again and again in my mind. His body was so perfect and artistic. I would say the person who made him is a real artist. I wanted to lean on his body for ever. God I am grateful to you for understanding me.

    I held his hand as I told him I wanted him to meet my friends who were waiting for us. We rode to the North holding his hand tight. They know my love towards him. It was John who screamed to us “You both look perfect.” I was gloriously proud to hear that as I adored him for more than 10 years. And see, God understood me and bestowed his kindness on me. I introduced him to them. They shook hands.

        I sat on his lap holding his right hand browsing Facebook while talking to friends. At last I found the page which I was browsing for. Long ago, I promised to myself that, I would hit “Like” on this Page only after I own him.

                        You liked “The Royal Enfield Club’s page”. It sounds really good when we read aloud. I read it a couple of times and I screamed once. If you still wish to call me a gay, go ahead, I don't give a shit because now everything is legal as I have a driving license.

The Girl With An Angel’s Smile-A Confession

When I was in 11th Standard I happened to
notice a girl in my class wearing special kind of
smile.Some people smile beautifully,some have
terrific smile,some others have cute smile and
some have weirdsmile.According to me there is
one another kind of smile which that
girl used to wear ,I call it “TheAngel’s Smile”
She was very studious, smart,calm ,well
disciplined and above all she was a nice singer
too.School days were mostly fun and at times
weird.The stringent rules were the villains.If a
girl talks to a boy and a teacher came to notice
it,she will be called in by
the detective minded people among the teachers
not to enquire but to inquire into the the most
significant thing in the earth at that time. No.1.
"why were you talking to him?”,
and 2. ”what is it between you and him?”.
Nice questions though, if it is not asked
to you while in your school days.May be that
was the reason why she doesn't talk too much to
boys.I believe I were the one she used to talk
more to, when compared to other boys.
I still remember hiding a ”Kitkat” inside her
study table'where she used to keep her books,
before anyone showed up in the class.I asked
her to check out her draw when she finally
came in to the class.She saw the chocolate as I
saw a shining star in her eyes for a second
which did not stay as long as I would like it to
stay.She asked me to take it back.I hesitated and
told her “I bought it for you,Just for you.”
At last,She shared it with our friends.I too got a
small piece of it.Even though the chocolate was
very sweet and yummy, my mind was some
where else as I asked to myself "Was she happy?
" May be she was pretty happy from her heart
even though her face wore a mixture of
emotions which I could not paint it down to a
single picture.Even if she was not happy from
her heart,I would like to believe that she was
very ,very and very much happy.I would even
like to believe it was her happiest day till then.
She was the one who noted down the lyrics
of a Malayalam devotional song on a paper for
me which happened to be my favourite
devotional song of that season which meant “Try
to find your God,You will find joy in life”.
Fortunately,I still have the same season
running.I have kept that symbol of friendship in
my cupboard safely back at home.
Days in school were so funny and so fast.School
days came to an end very soon. After the school
we used to talk over the phones at times and
used to send messages too.Two years back I
asked her which is the devotional song you have
noted down for me in a piece of paper.She
replied
“Did something like that ever happened?"
I was unable to talk for a minute,My tongue got
frozen up for couple seconds.That piece of
paper containing her handwriting was not just
a symbol of friendship for me,it was more of
sibling feel. May be she did not have that feeling
for me ,may b she did not like me much.But I
was hurt by the answer.Like the doctors say "he
has inside bleeding".I understood what is called
as "inside bleeding" on that day(After that
incident many of my friends taught the same
concept a couple of times).That made me to quit
contacting her afterwards.
Tonight I came across a name which the
Christian saints used to have, in my chat list in
Facebook.I wondered who is it with this name?
I don't have any friend who went to seminary.
So was curious to ping,
“Hi, who is this? I cannot figure out you.”
I waited for the answer,but did not get any.
I logged out.I logged in again after a few minute
as my anxiety was driving me crazy.There was
a reply.
“Sorry,I hadn't noticed.Think you are
offline.Bye”
I replied,
“Not offline,I was wondering who is this on my
friend list with this name ".
The name replied “We studied together
though,Fine ,leave it.Good night.
I scrolled up and found a message from that
“name” wishing me happy new year in 2012.
So I replied again, “Will you please tell me? I
badly wanted to know.”
The name replied.”Thought I have told you,I
am Reena Philip who studied with you at school.
OMG!! The girl with an Angel’s Smile.The Girl
to whom I gave a chocolate to make her
realize that she was my dear most friend.The
girl who wrote down the songs lyrics for me.
It proved again that Magellan was right.The
world seemed a perfect round for me but I was
completely flummoxed by the name she
put on Facebook . I wondered whether she went
to seminary.I was shocked.So I asked ,
“Why did you change your name?”
She did not reply.She was offline by then.
I realized I have n’t thought about her ,not
even once for the last one year or more.I could
not just accept that I completely forgot about
her.How could I do it.It just reminded me of
“what she were for me in my school days and
what is now?”.
Tonight I am lying on my bed at 1.30 AM with a
guilty mind and rock which weighed 20
kilograms on my chest with sharp edges.I felt
the time and distance could hide our loved ones
from us for ever.Unfortunately it happens to
every body.Honestly,I don't want it to happen
again in my life.I promised to myself that when I
wake up I would find her phone number and call
her up.
Unfortunately, It is 3.42 AM still trying to
sleep as I believe the weight of the rock came
down by 2 Kilos.I hope I would get her back as
my dear most friend again and I could get some
sleep.Hopes and dreams are two things that
makes a man sleep to wake up and act.
It is. 4.10 AM I could hear the birds singing
which seemed to be the perfect orchestra for
my favourite Christian devotional song which I
started singing already
“Parishudhanam ente yeshuvine nokki
munnottu poyeedukil,
Ente dhukhangalellam akanneedume…..”