When I was in 11th Standard I happened to
notice a girl in my class wearing special kind of
smile.Some people smile beautifully,some have
terrific smile,some others have cute smile and
some have weirdsmile.According to me there is
one another kind of smile which that
girl used to wear ,I call it “TheAngel’s Smile”
She was very studious, smart,calm ,well
disciplined and above all she was a nice singer
too.School days were mostly fun and at times
weird.The stringent rules were the villains.If a
girl talks to a boy and a teacher came to notice
it,she will be called in by
the detective minded people among the teachers
not to enquire but to inquire into the the most
significant thing in the earth at that time. No.1.
"why were you talking to him?”,
and 2. ”what is it between you and him?”.
Nice questions though, if it is not asked
to you while in your school days.May be that
was the reason why she doesn't talk too much to
boys.I believe I were the one she used to talk
more to, when compared to other boys.
I still remember hiding a ”Kitkat” inside her
study table'where she used to keep her books,
before anyone showed up in the class.I asked
her to check out her draw when she finally
came in to the class.She saw the chocolate as I
saw a shining star in her eyes for a second
which did not stay as long as I would like it to
stay.She asked me to take it back.I hesitated and
told her “I bought it for you,Just for you.”
At last,She shared it with our friends.I too got a
small piece of it.Even though the chocolate was
very sweet and yummy, my mind was some
where else as I asked to myself "Was she happy?
" May be she was pretty happy from her heart
even though her face wore a mixture of
emotions which I could not paint it down to a
single picture.Even if she was not happy from
her heart,I would like to believe that she was
very ,very and very much happy.I would even
like to believe it was her happiest day till then.
She was the one who noted down the lyrics
of a Malayalam devotional song on a paper for
me which happened to be my favourite
devotional song of that season which meant “Try
to find your God,You will find joy in life”.
Fortunately,I still have the same season
running.I have kept that symbol of friendship in
my cupboard safely back at home.
Days in school were so funny and so fast.School
days came to an end very soon. After the school
we used to talk over the phones at times and
used to send messages too.Two years back I
asked her which is the devotional song you have
noted down for me in a piece of paper.She
replied
“Did something like that ever happened?"
I was unable to talk for a minute,My tongue got
frozen up for couple seconds.That piece of
paper containing her handwriting was not just
a symbol of friendship for me,it was more of
sibling feel. May be she did not have that feeling
for me ,may b she did not like me much.But I
was hurt by the answer.Like the doctors say "he
has inside bleeding".I understood what is called
as "inside bleeding" on that day(After that
incident many of my friends taught the same
concept a couple of times).That made me to quit
contacting her afterwards.
Tonight I came across a name which the
Christian saints used to have, in my chat list in
Facebook.I wondered who is it with this name?
I don't have any friend who went to seminary.
So was curious to ping,
“Hi, who is this? I cannot figure out you.”
I waited for the answer,but did not get any.
I logged out.I logged in again after a few minute
as my anxiety was driving me crazy.There was
a reply.
“Sorry,I hadn't noticed.Think you are
offline.Bye”
I replied,
“Not offline,I was wondering who is this on my
friend list with this name ".
The name replied “We studied together
though,Fine ,leave it.Good night.
I scrolled up and found a message from that
“name” wishing me happy new year in 2012.
So I replied again, “Will you please tell me? I
badly wanted to know.”
The name replied.”Thought I have told you,I
am Reena Philip who studied with you at school.
OMG!! The girl with an Angel’s Smile.The Girl
to whom I gave a chocolate to make her
realize that she was my dear most friend.The
girl who wrote down the songs lyrics for me.
It proved again that Magellan was right.The
world seemed a perfect round for me but I was
completely flummoxed by the name she
put on Facebook . I wondered whether she went
to seminary.I was shocked.So I asked ,
“Why did you change your name?”
She did not reply.She was offline by then.
I realized I have n’t thought about her ,not
even once for the last one year or more.I could
not just accept that I completely forgot about
her.How could I do it.It just reminded me of
“what she were for me in my school days and
what is now?”.
Tonight I am lying on my bed at 1.30 AM with a
guilty mind and rock which weighed 20
kilograms on my chest with sharp edges.I felt
the time and distance could hide our loved ones
from us for ever.Unfortunately it happens to
every body.Honestly,I don't want it to happen
again in my life.I promised to myself that when I
wake up I would find her phone number and call
her up.
Unfortunately, It is 3.42 AM still trying to
sleep as I believe the weight of the rock came
down by 2 Kilos.I hope I would get her back as
my dear most friend again and I could get some
sleep.Hopes and dreams are two things that
makes a man sleep to wake up and act.
It is. 4.10 AM I could hear the birds singing
which seemed to be the perfect orchestra for
my favourite Christian devotional song which I
started singing already
“Parishudhanam ente yeshuvine nokki
munnottu poyeedukil,
Ente dhukhangalellam akanneedume…..”
No comments:
Post a Comment