She

It was a Saturday evening 4 o clock. I saw her face running red and filling with excitement. I knew she was a bit frightened too as she sat on the window side of the boat holding my hands tight for a couple of seconds. She pulled her hands back praising her braveness. I was looking more into her face than into the backwaters and it helped me to find she was looking into the waves made by the boat like a child, than into my eyes.She seemed clearly thrilled.
     She is a girl who doesn't show off. May be because she thinks she is not beautiful enough but I always tell her she is beautiful.Well, she don’t believe me though.I could see the cozy rays of the setting sun on her cheeks while on the moving boat. I tried to frighten her up saying about the recent boat accident but I don’t think she is afraid of it anymore. It seemed she already noticed the Life jackets placed over our heads.
     We reached the beach in 20 minutes. It is a long way walk through the pavements which leads to the beach. We walked quietly talking, listening and cracking jokes. She pointed me something which happened to be a model of a weapon used before our independence. She chuckled when I said I am bad in history back from school. I wanted to show her a place where civilians were not allowed to enter into. Once a couple of my friends tried to get in there for a visit and some Army Men showed up with guns. I was searching for that place .I found the place and I pointed out to her.I told her the story of my stupid friends. After a couple of seconds I realized that was not the original place i wanted to show. So I corrected as soon as I found the original place where it happened.
 Trying to tease me, she asked “Were you bad at geography as well back from school?
       “I tried to wear a serious expression .My endeavor was in vain though.
        I was the first one among us to step into the waves of the evening sea. It was really
nice to have the soothing of the evening sun all over our body
and naughty waves carrying varieties of beautiful sea shells massaging our feet smoothly and taking away the sand beneath our feet. But I realized the last part was missing. It was her who told   “I am going to keep my sandals in my bag. Give me yours as well. “I was a bit surprised to hear that, especially when a girl asking to keep my sandal in her “BAG”.
     The waves were awesomely beautiful just like her. I saw happiness on her face as if a child watching the sea for the first time. I even felt like the shiny golden rays of the evening sun were shining on her more than
on the waves. She was clearly excited and playful which were clearly portrayed on her face.
She was really sad when I asked her “We are late, We better go”.She thanked me for the day ,I didn't know that was much to be thanked. I told her “You can take it back to your pocket as I enjoyed the day too”.
        People say “A boy and a girl cannot be friends always.” I would say that is truly mindless and equally pointless. It is not right that a girl and a boy can only be lovers. I believe from the bottom of my heart that they can be real friends too. A friend who hugs you when you are down, one who cares about you like your lover, one who wept at times for you, who misses you when you are not around and who even don’t hesitate to act like your parent over phone to your principal at school or college.
    She is my friend, a very special person I would say with greatest happiness and joy. Because she is one who won’t pretend to be someone else, one who won’t hesitate to wear a smile while she walks and talks. One for whom I am a special person. I read somewhere a couple of days before that ”Close friends are actually the siblings God forgot to give you. “ I am pretty sure that who ever said that has someone so special like the one I already have.

Story of a Gay

                                         

  

                           I am in love with him truly , madly, deeply. If you call me a gay, well I would answer you with utmost pride “hey, what’s up?”

     When I was a 14 year old boy I used to see him pass me in style. At times
he stares at me as if “Why the hell are you looking at me kiddo. May be I could not then but I promised to myself that I will make him mine and live with him till I die. For that let me become a Man.
      I remember seeing him for the first time. I was riding my dad’s Bajaj Chetak and I was so damn excited to see him passing me very slowly from the opposite direction talking to someone as he was very handsome and tempting. His sound made me pine for him. It is very mesmerizing and adorable to see him riding with someone in his back as he lean towards the earth while he take a 140 degree deviation on his way somewhere. Did his eyes catch mine for a second?

      Once I got a precious chance to touch his dark husky body. Man, it was an awesome feeling. It tempted me for something which was not legal at that point of time. It reminded me that Law of the land is against gays. But still, I just wanted to take him home and ride with him through the endless road to nowhere holding his hand. I wanted to tell him, how much I adored him, how much I learned about him .I wanted to share the plans and dreams I have after our marriage. I don’t know whether it can be called as a marriage as there should be a bride and a groom which is missing in my story.

Today I turned 23 and I was very busy for the last two weeks preparing to meet him. I always have thought about him even in this rush. Today I am on my way to finally to meet him on my 23^rd birth day. It was bliss; it reminded me “a word” or may be “a feeling” which the English used to have called “Déjà Vu”. I reached the place where we planned to meet. He was there already waiting for me. His eyes caught me with a smile on his beautiful face and it made Goosebumps all over my body. This time he did not take his eyes back from me. I thanked his parents again and again in my mind. His body was so perfect and artistic. I would say the person who made him is a real artist. I wanted to lean on his body for ever. God I am grateful to you for understanding me.

    I held his hand as I told him I wanted him to meet my friends who were waiting for us. We rode to the North holding his hand tight. They know my love towards him. It was John who screamed to us “You both look perfect.” I was gloriously proud to hear that as I adored him for more than 10 years. And see, God understood me and bestowed his kindness on me. I introduced him to them. They shook hands.

        I sat on his lap holding his right hand browsing Facebook while talking to friends. At last I found the page which I was browsing for. Long ago, I promised to myself that, I would hit “Like” on this Page only after I own him.

                        You liked “The Royal Enfield Club’s page”. It sounds really good when we read aloud. I read it a couple of times and I screamed once. If you still wish to call me a gay, go ahead, I don't give a shit because now everything is legal as I have a driving license.

The Girl With An Angel’s Smile-A Confession

When I was in 11th Standard I happened to
notice a girl in my class wearing special kind of
smile.Some people smile beautifully,some have
terrific smile,some others have cute smile and
some have weirdsmile.According to me there is
one another kind of smile which that
girl used to wear ,I call it “TheAngel’s Smile”
She was very studious, smart,calm ,well
disciplined and above all she was a nice singer
too.School days were mostly fun and at times
weird.The stringent rules were the villains.If a
girl talks to a boy and a teacher came to notice
it,she will be called in by
the detective minded people among the teachers
not to enquire but to inquire into the the most
significant thing in the earth at that time. No.1.
"why were you talking to him?”,
and 2. ”what is it between you and him?”.
Nice questions though, if it is not asked
to you while in your school days.May be that
was the reason why she doesn't talk too much to
boys.I believe I were the one she used to talk
more to, when compared to other boys.
I still remember hiding a ”Kitkat” inside her
study table'where she used to keep her books,
before anyone showed up in the class.I asked
her to check out her draw when she finally
came in to the class.She saw the chocolate as I
saw a shining star in her eyes for a second
which did not stay as long as I would like it to
stay.She asked me to take it back.I hesitated and
told her “I bought it for you,Just for you.”
At last,She shared it with our friends.I too got a
small piece of it.Even though the chocolate was
very sweet and yummy, my mind was some
where else as I asked to myself "Was she happy?
" May be she was pretty happy from her heart
even though her face wore a mixture of
emotions which I could not paint it down to a
single picture.Even if she was not happy from
her heart,I would like to believe that she was
very ,very and very much happy.I would even
like to believe it was her happiest day till then.
She was the one who noted down the lyrics
of a Malayalam devotional song on a paper for
me which happened to be my favourite
devotional song of that season which meant “Try
to find your God,You will find joy in life”.
Fortunately,I still have the same season
running.I have kept that symbol of friendship in
my cupboard safely back at home.
Days in school were so funny and so fast.School
days came to an end very soon. After the school
we used to talk over the phones at times and
used to send messages too.Two years back I
asked her which is the devotional song you have
noted down for me in a piece of paper.She
replied
“Did something like that ever happened?"
I was unable to talk for a minute,My tongue got
frozen up for couple seconds.That piece of
paper containing her handwriting was not just
a symbol of friendship for me,it was more of
sibling feel. May be she did not have that feeling
for me ,may b she did not like me much.But I
was hurt by the answer.Like the doctors say "he
has inside bleeding".I understood what is called
as "inside bleeding" on that day(After that
incident many of my friends taught the same
concept a couple of times).That made me to quit
contacting her afterwards.
Tonight I came across a name which the
Christian saints used to have, in my chat list in
Facebook.I wondered who is it with this name?
I don't have any friend who went to seminary.
So was curious to ping,
“Hi, who is this? I cannot figure out you.”
I waited for the answer,but did not get any.
I logged out.I logged in again after a few minute
as my anxiety was driving me crazy.There was
a reply.
“Sorry,I hadn't noticed.Think you are
offline.Bye”
I replied,
“Not offline,I was wondering who is this on my
friend list with this name ".
The name replied “We studied together
though,Fine ,leave it.Good night.
I scrolled up and found a message from that
“name” wishing me happy new year in 2012.
So I replied again, “Will you please tell me? I
badly wanted to know.”
The name replied.”Thought I have told you,I
am Reena Philip who studied with you at school.
OMG!! The girl with an Angel’s Smile.The Girl
to whom I gave a chocolate to make her
realize that she was my dear most friend.The
girl who wrote down the songs lyrics for me.
It proved again that Magellan was right.The
world seemed a perfect round for me but I was
completely flummoxed by the name she
put on Facebook . I wondered whether she went
to seminary.I was shocked.So I asked ,
“Why did you change your name?”
She did not reply.She was offline by then.
I realized I have n’t thought about her ,not
even once for the last one year or more.I could
not just accept that I completely forgot about
her.How could I do it.It just reminded me of
“what she were for me in my school days and
what is now?”.
Tonight I am lying on my bed at 1.30 AM with a
guilty mind and rock which weighed 20
kilograms on my chest with sharp edges.I felt
the time and distance could hide our loved ones
from us for ever.Unfortunately it happens to
every body.Honestly,I don't want it to happen
again in my life.I promised to myself that when I
wake up I would find her phone number and call
her up.
Unfortunately, It is 3.42 AM still trying to
sleep as I believe the weight of the rock came
down by 2 Kilos.I hope I would get her back as
my dear most friend again and I could get some
sleep.Hopes and dreams are two things that
makes a man sleep to wake up and act.
It is. 4.10 AM I could hear the birds singing
which seemed to be the perfect orchestra for
my favourite Christian devotional song which I
started singing already
“Parishudhanam ente yeshuvine nokki
munnottu poyeedukil,
Ente dhukhangalellam akanneedume…..”