[Inspired from a real life character who spent his 37 years in jail]
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I killed her. I killed the person I loved most. I did not know she was cheating me all these years. I neither did hear the cop’s questions nor the court’s judgement. Hopes are dead like an old Radio lying in the attic. I can hear nothing. There is no meaning for life any more.
While I was walking through the veranda, one of the inmate at jail showed me a person who was watering the gardens.
“He is in this place for the last 37 years. He came here at the age of 24.Now he is 61”
I nodded and asked “Why?”
“He raped and killed a women and her daughter”
I was shocked to hear that. He looked very calm and he always wears a smile on his face. But nobody talks to him. I don’t know how a person looking so innocent could be a monster.
He was the one who waved his hands to say hi to me while I was thinking over and over “how to kill myself”. I did not respond to him. He asked me,
“Why did you kill your wife?”
I replied “What the hell is your problem, you blithesome looking monster. Don’t you understand I really don’t want to talk to you?”
He was not disappointed, my reply seems to have made no effect on him. He smiled and repeated the phrase again and again followed by a laughter every time as he walked away.
I saw him waving his hands at me at the canteen and I ignored him. Suddenly he disappeared in the next day. I asked one of the cops about him. I got to know that he proved his innocence after 37 years. The legal system of the country apologised and relieved him from this god forsaken place. At last he proved that he was not a monster.
I was really bad to him. I thought. I should have heard him and talked to him because all the way he is a better person than me. He came to this place at the age of 24 and he is 61 now. All his youthful years. The lost 37 years which could be full of love, happiness, fun. God sometimes is very cruel.
Days passed. I still did not figure out how to end this meaningless life. It was the jail supervisor who handed over a letter to me. I was surprised to see what was written on the “from column” of the letter as I flipped the envelope. It written “The blithesome looking Monster : ) “
************
The letter
Hi Sam,
Sometimes life is uncontrollable. I saw the disappointment in your eyes. That is what made me to write for you. I did not know whether you still call me the same you used to call.
I was in jail for the last 37 years trying to prove my innocence. Before 37 years, I was as disappointed as you are now. Life is sometimes unfair and unethical. But life can be good even at the unfair, unethical and bad times, if you are positive. Without bad time, challenges there cannot be happiness or I would say “You will never realize what happiness is.
I was a person who doesn’t know what bad times are, what sadness was. I didn’t have a bit of commitment to any one than to me. Not even to my parents. I was happily spending the money I inherited from my parents. I did not even have some good friends.
Now I know how good times differs from bad times and how does happiness differ from sadness. It seems God wanted to convey this to me. The lost 37 years taught me the value of happiness, sadness, Love, Commitment, relationships and dreams.
It seems nothing can disappoint me now as I am stronger.
I am writing this from Agra. Sitting in front of the Taj Mahal reminded me of your love for your wife. I am in a ride from Kerala to Jammu Kashmir in the God’s own country, India. India is indeed incredibly beautiful. I am determined even in my 61 year of living that I will complete my mission if I don’t die riding my machine built by Enfield.
Sam, There is only one life. Smile, Laugh and confront the challenges boldly. Killing yourself will definitely help you to hide from your tomorrows. Don’t be a coward, don’t give up. There are more days to come. May be you could also fly on the wings of your dreams. Live life like today is the last day on earth. Let the life make you stronger to confront challenges ahead.
God bless you,
Martin.
*******************
I smiled. I would have killed myself if I were him. His situation was worse than me. How could a person be so determined who has lost his 37 youthful years inside a jail watering gardens and sharing foods with the birds. Who could we blame? The legal system of the country or the GOD?
Whoever was the reason for it, it doesn’t bother him anymore as he was accelerating his machine to the highest peak of the country at the age of 61 with quite a lot of determination to confront the challenges ahead and to reach his destination at last.
.jpg)
I killed her. I killed the person I loved most. I did not know she was cheating me all these years. I neither did hear the cop’s questions nor the court’s judgement. Hopes are dead like an old Radio lying in the attic. I can hear nothing. There is no meaning for life any more.
While I was walking through the veranda, one of the inmate at jail showed me a person who was watering the gardens.
“He is in this place for the last 37 years. He came here at the age of 24.Now he is 61”
I nodded and asked “Why?”
“He raped and killed a women and her daughter”
I was shocked to hear that. He looked very calm and he always wears a smile on his face. But nobody talks to him. I don’t know how a person looking so innocent could be a monster.
He was the one who waved his hands to say hi to me while I was thinking over and over “how to kill myself”. I did not respond to him. He asked me,
“Why did you kill your wife?”
I replied “What the hell is your problem, you blithesome looking monster. Don’t you understand I really don’t want to talk to you?”
He was not disappointed, my reply seems to have made no effect on him. He smiled and repeated the phrase again and again followed by a laughter every time as he walked away.
I saw him waving his hands at me at the canteen and I ignored him. Suddenly he disappeared in the next day. I asked one of the cops about him. I got to know that he proved his innocence after 37 years. The legal system of the country apologised and relieved him from this god forsaken place. At last he proved that he was not a monster.
I was really bad to him. I thought. I should have heard him and talked to him because all the way he is a better person than me. He came to this place at the age of 24 and he is 61 now. All his youthful years. The lost 37 years which could be full of love, happiness, fun. God sometimes is very cruel.
Days passed. I still did not figure out how to end this meaningless life. It was the jail supervisor who handed over a letter to me. I was surprised to see what was written on the “from column” of the letter as I flipped the envelope. It written “The blithesome looking Monster : ) “
************
The letter
Hi Sam,
Sometimes life is uncontrollable. I saw the disappointment in your eyes. That is what made me to write for you. I did not know whether you still call me the same you used to call.
I was in jail for the last 37 years trying to prove my innocence. Before 37 years, I was as disappointed as you are now. Life is sometimes unfair and unethical. But life can be good even at the unfair, unethical and bad times, if you are positive. Without bad time, challenges there cannot be happiness or I would say “You will never realize what happiness is.
I was a person who doesn’t know what bad times are, what sadness was. I didn’t have a bit of commitment to any one than to me. Not even to my parents. I was happily spending the money I inherited from my parents. I did not even have some good friends.
Now I know how good times differs from bad times and how does happiness differ from sadness. It seems God wanted to convey this to me. The lost 37 years taught me the value of happiness, sadness, Love, Commitment, relationships and dreams.
It seems nothing can disappoint me now as I am stronger.
I am writing this from Agra. Sitting in front of the Taj Mahal reminded me of your love for your wife. I am in a ride from Kerala to Jammu Kashmir in the God’s own country, India. India is indeed incredibly beautiful. I am determined even in my 61 year of living that I will complete my mission if I don’t die riding my machine built by Enfield.
Sam, There is only one life. Smile, Laugh and confront the challenges boldly. Killing yourself will definitely help you to hide from your tomorrows. Don’t be a coward, don’t give up. There are more days to come. May be you could also fly on the wings of your dreams. Live life like today is the last day on earth. Let the life make you stronger to confront challenges ahead.
God bless you,
Martin.
*******************
I smiled. I would have killed myself if I were him. His situation was worse than me. How could a person be so determined who has lost his 37 youthful years inside a jail watering gardens and sharing foods with the birds. Who could we blame? The legal system of the country or the GOD?
Whoever was the reason for it, it doesn’t bother him anymore as he was accelerating his machine to the highest peak of the country at the age of 61 with quite a lot of determination to confront the challenges ahead and to reach his destination at last.
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